Friday, November 13, 2009

Quitting And Not Thinking I'm A Quitter

There are things I've been years at doing that I'm now thinking of I ought to quit, stop doing.

I'm reminded of the time I quit smoking. It took me years to get fed up enough to give it it up. I remember the resolve took years before I finally quit smoking and stayed off the habit. I'm contemplating quitting 'making art'.

Or maybe thinking that the drawings and what-other things I make is art. This work I do and have done goes back many decades. Got very serious about it especially when I retired from teaching. I was 57 when that happened. That is, wanting to, aspiring to 'make art'.

The easy part of it was the aspiring. It was between me and myself. I could spend hours and days at drawing, painting and pretending. It didn't much matter how anyone else thought of my work. I didn't much show it, didn't much be deterred by whether I exhibited or didn't.

The high, the intoxication came in the doing... At least that for me had to suffice.

It sufficed that I found such sublimities in my examining of great works of art by artists living and dead. Moments of awe and revelation that evolved out of my own singular efforts.

I'm now thinking I might quit, walk away from my thinking and doing such things I've been doing.

To be continued.